Unlocking the Secrets of Change

Modern medical science has shown us countless ways to improve our lives. Yet, people still smoke. They still eat unhealthy junk food and don’t get enough physical activity. And the self-destruction isn’t just confined to the arena of physical health, either. People still sit around watching TV when they could be accomplishing something—and beating themselves up for doing it. So, why do we put off until tomorrow what could be done today? Why do we lack the motivation do all of our “shoulds, coulds, and woulds?” And why do we continue to do things we know are “bad for us”—even when we say we want to change?

Psychological research might be able to tell us. The bad news? What we’ve considered motivating factors in the past don’t seem to be very motivational at all. The good news? Understanding human motivation may help each of us understand how to motivate ourselves and make the changes we need to make for better health and more satisfying lives.

Us vs. Them

Many people have a stake in being able to motivate others. Parents, teachers, and bosses all want to motivate someone else—their children, their students, their employees—to perform and improve certain tasks. And it doesn’t stop there. Spouses, significant others, friends; we all have someone in our lives whom we’d like to motivate to change—or someone who’d like to motivate us to change. Bosses bring in motivational speakers and plan retreats to try to boost employee morale. Teachers wield the promise of good grades as a carrot to lead students to high achievement. And parents threaten punishment or supply their kids with rewards to try to control behavior. What usually happens?

No one changes. The problem? Innate human defiance.

More and more we’re finding that external motivational factors don’t work. What does this mean? It means that you can tell people how bad smoking is, how much they should want to do a better job at work, or how important it is to exercise, and they’ll never do it unless it connects to an inner sense of value. People are motivated by a drive to satisfy inner needs and respond to personal values—and these are different for everyone.

Extrinsic motivation is motivation that comes from outside a person. A wife tells her husband, “You need to quit smoking! I want you to live longer and be healthier!” Even though she’s taking an interest in his well-being, the change is her idea. She wants him to change for her. She might use motivating tactics—show him magazine articles about the dangers of smoking, tell him that he needs to do it for the children, or buy him aids designed to help him quit. Still, she is the one with the motivation, and the odds are good that, unless he can personalize the information and develop his own desire to quit, no amount of begging from his wife will make him change. Not even smoking death statistics.

Forms of extrinsic motivation include:

• Paychecks.
• Promotions.
• Punishments.
• Praise.

Studies have shown that a bigger paycheck only motivates employees to work harder for a limited time after the raise. Within weeks, they’re back to their normal level of output. And a promise of a pay increase doesn’t drive people, either. Many times, if someone is already making enough money to meet their needs, they will decide that more money isn’t really worth working harder.

Intrinsic motivation is motivation that comes from inside. We decide that doing something is important, and this turns into doing it. Intrinsic motivation is influenced by external factors for sure: people value different things, and some of these things could be relationships, achievement, more money, greater health, a longer life. Still, in order for these external factors to have an effect on motivation, we have to internalize their importance. In other words, we have to care, and we have to care more about those external factors than we care about doing whatever it is that needs changing.

If the husband whose wife wants him to quit smoking decides that he cares more about living longer for his children than how much he enjoys smoking, then he’ll take steps to change it. As long as his wife cares more than he does, he’s probably going to see the pressure to quit as external and even feel a little resentful of her efforts. We’ve all heard it before, and it really is true—we have to change for ourselves.

Bad Math

Obviously, most people, if asked, would say that they care more about their children than they care about smoking. So, why do people still lack the intrinsic motivation to change their smoking habit—or any other habit they claim to hate but continue to do? Humans are very bad at calculating long-term risks in the face of an immediate reward. If a change isn’t going to bring an immediate pay-off, we often find it very difficult to care about making the change at all.

People tend to overestimate immediate threats and underplay long-term risk factors. So, if you’re stressed and in desperate need of a cigarette break before you have a mental meltdown right now, you’re not going to be thinking about the possibility of developing cancer in 10 years. Clearly, the immediate threat isn’t all that threatening, and there are other things you could do to calm your nerves. But our brains respond to urgency. Rather than logically weighing the long-term pros and cons of an action, we generally go with the quick pay-off when pressed.

Humans also have a tendency to overreact to the threat of freak occurrences and underestimate the possibility of common problems. We hear about a plane crash that killed a few people, and we’re suddenly afraid of flying. We forget that many more people are killed in cars over the course of a year than are killed in plane crashes. We are fascinated by spectacular stories about earthquakes, anthrax, and collapsing buildings—but we forget that we’re much more likely to slip in the shower than be involved in these relatively rare accidents.

Another reason we have so much trouble calculating our risks and needs for change is because we have an incredibly hard time noticing slow changes. This works two ways. If you gain 2 pounds a month for 12 months, that’s 24 pounds over a year—but who is going to notice 2 pounds in a month?

It also works the other way. If you lose two pounds a month for 12 months, well, that’s 24 pounds lost—but, again, who is going to keep up the effort for slow and steady change? Remember, we’re people who respond to immediacy, and slow change doesn’t provide immediate feelings of risk or reward.

And what about risk calculation and those intrinsic/extrinsic motivating factors mentioned earlier? Well, people are much more likely to downplay the risks when they’re choosing to take the risk, but we exaggerate the risk when we feel we’re being forced to do it. People like to feel that they have a choice, and our brains are wired to justify the choices that we want to make, whether or not these choices are in our best interests.

The news isn’t all bad, though. People are motivated all the time. In fact, every action we take is motivated by something. The key to change is understanding what motivates people to take action and how to harness that knowledge to change our own behavior.

What DOES Motivate People?

Everyone has a different set of values, and those values are going to determine what motivates any given individual and the actions that are going to be important to them. These factors are going to be tied to one or more of three internal needs:

Need for Achievement: Some people highly value accomplishment. They like to completely master a skill, and they often set very high standards for themselves. “Anything worth doing is worth doing right!” might be the motto of someone with a high need for achievement. They seek out challenges and appreciate their independence—they value their time because they need it to achieve all the goals they’ve set for themselves. They are highly self-motivated, and they like to play to their strengths. No sense in trying something they’re not good at; they might not achieve!

Need for Affiliation: The need for affiliation refers to the need for social connection. We all need relationships to varying degrees, and some people value approval, praise, and interpersonal relationships more than others. Those with a high need for affiliation are going to go with the group. If all their friends smoke, it’s going to be nearly impossible for them to quit—and, if none of their friends smoke, they’re probably not going to start. They often need a friend to “sign-off” on a change they’re contemplating, and they work best in groups. Having a partner in change is a good idea for those who have a strong need for affiliation.

Need for Power: People who have a high need for power might express it in several ways. Some might have a drive for personal power; they like to be in control of their environment and all the people in it. Others might have a need to be in control of an organization, such as the company they work for or a charity group they’re a member of, in order to help move that organization in the direction they think will most benefit the group.

Very few people are going to be motivated solely by one of these factors. Instead, they’ll have a bit of each factor in varying degrees. Someone might highly value personal relationships and still have a fairly independent sense of self-motivation and need for achievement independent of others’ approval.

What does this mean? It means that, if we want to see real and lasting changes in our lives, we have to learn to personally identify with the changes we want to make. Do you associate more strongly with the need for achievement than any other need? Then figure out ways to make the changes you desire into an achievement! Need that affiliation more than power or achievement? Practice “sticking with the winners”—running in social circles that include people who are already living out the changes you want to see in your own life. Feel a strong need for power? Find ways to tap into your personal power for greater success.

This Is Just the Beginning…

Who we are and how we react to motivating factors is partially determined by how we were raised and the experiences that have shaped how we view our own ability to change and what we value. Understanding who we are and how we react to motivating factors will help us understand how to motivate ourselves in a different direction.

If we know that we tend to underestimate long-term risk and live for pleasure in the moment, how can we change our behaviors? Humans may be bad at calculating risk, but they also have the amazing ability to reason with themselves. If you want to shoot for the long-term goal, simply find reasons that will make the experience more personal for you.

What’s important to you? How do your values factor in with the changes you want to make? Find your own reasons to change—then take action!

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